Surrealist Street Gang

We're made of meat!

rainbow

Archive for the ‘Science’ Category

Green Volcanoes

You have been warned!

Ha ha ha ha! Awesome!

THIS was what we were going for as kids, but we never had a motorcycle for power.

Centripetal force


Q: Doctor,  I’ve heard that  cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it…don’t waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency.  What does cow eat?   Hay and corn.
And what are these?   Vegetables.  So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.  Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable)  And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A:  No, not at all.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.  Bottom up!

Q: How  can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What  are some of  the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No pain…good!


Q:  Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food are fried these day in vegetable oil.  In fact, they permeated by it.  How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will  sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not!  When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?
A:  Are you crazy?!?  HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?
A:  If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q:  Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A:  Hey!  ‘Round’ a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And  remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a  ride!!”


AND…..

For  those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health.  It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional  studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of  sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


More Electricity

All I Can Say is Awesome!!

Fun With Science and Persepetive!

These are really cool!

Fools! Jesse Ventura is working for the government!

He even admits in the commercials for his series that he’s been on the inside.  He’s going to “expose”  all these ridiculous conspiracies to distract you from the real secret agenda of the government:  Replacing meat with tofu.

http://www.trutv.com/shows/conspiracy_theory/index.html

Jesse Ventura, the governments newest distractor.

Jesse Ventura, the governments newest distractor.

Bad Sci-Fi

So much bad Science Fiction from the 50s. What are we making today that will be looked upon with this degree of ridicule?

There are so many of them!

Machine gun jublies? How did I miss those??

Well, OK, this isn’t exactly about machine gun jublies.  It’s just a quote I enjoy.

What it is really about is the Gomboc. A cool development in math / physics and I totally missed it.  Oy vey!

gomboc

mmmm pie

Plexiglas polished Gomboc? Want.

Plexiglas partly polished Gomboc? Want.

Aluminium Gomboc? Want.

Blasted aluminium? Want.

Stainless steel? Want.

Your tin-foil hat has gone high tech!

The Aulterra Neutralizer is the Only Product that NEUTRALIZES Effects of EMF/RF Exposure!

So get yours now!  For only $30.00 you will receive 3 puffy stickers that will certainly make any paranoid schizophrenic feel at least a little better about the voices and the radio transmitter in the stadium sized cavity in their chests.

Puffy Stickers!  Only $30.00!

Puffy Stickers! Only $30.00!

Why wear that nasty old foil hat anymore?  The voices are laughing at you for wearing it.  Get the Aulterra Neutralizer and the voices might actually stop.

The voices are laughing at your foil hat!

The voices are laughing at your foil hat!