SurrealistStreetGang

We're made of meat!

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Archive for the ‘death’ Category

Meaty Christmas!

Just a few days late.

Run from the bubbles!

Hipster Hitler

http://hipsterhitler.com/


Q: Doctor,  I’ve heard that  cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it…don’t waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency.  What does cow eat?   Hay and corn.
And what are these?   Vegetables.  So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.  Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable)  And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A:  No, not at all.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.  Bottom up!

Q: How  can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What  are some of  the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No pain…good!


Q:  Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food are fried these day in vegetable oil.  In fact, they permeated by it.  How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will  sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not!  When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?
A:  Are you crazy?!?  HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?
A:  If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q:  Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A:  Hey!  ‘Round’ a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And  remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a  ride!!”


AND…..

For  those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health.  It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional  studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of  sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


Dresden in the 1890s

A beautiful city, bombed out of existence by the allies in February 1945.  The dropping of over 7,800,000 pounds of high explosives and incendiary devices destroyed 15 square miles of the city center.

Dresden 1890s

Dresden 1890s

Bad Sci-Fi

So much bad Science Fiction from the 50s. What are we making today that will be looked upon with this degree of ridicule?

There are so many of them!

So wrong

Yet soo good.  If the bacon is crispy at least:

Wrong.  Wrong wrong wrong!

Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong!

As described on This is why you’re fat:

Chocolate Bacon Pogo On A Stick

Bacon wrapped in angel food cake, battered and deep fried, dipped in chocolate and served on a stick.

That sounds good enough that I’d actually consider making it a cheat meal.  Seriously.  I think I’d want to consume some very fibrous stuff immediately thereafter I think, but still.

Thee winner, and still Champeen!

Biological weapons are nice and all, but they’re so slow and leave a percentage uninfected. Take enriched lithium-6 deuteride with a uranium tamper and set it off with a fusion boosted primary and you can really take care of business. Nice and clean. Most of the bodies and wreckage just disappear.

Castle Bravo, the unexpectedly largest weapon ever detonated by the US.  15 megatons.  Like one thousand Hiroshima bombs set off at once.

Swine flu? Been there, done that.

So somehow I wound up reading about entomological warfare recently. I think I actually got there backward, from the United Sates biological weapons program, but I can’t recall if I came in from some other site to swine brucellosis or the M33 cluster bomb. Either way, it’s  perhaps semi-comforting to know that ‘murca was always on top of the homicide thing, as usual.  Let’s face it, what more constant thing do we have than Americans loving to kill?  America!  Fuck yeah! Maybe I need another new nickname… hey gang leader, how do you think Joe works for me? *g*

Awww yeah, bring it.

Awww yeah, bring it.

Strange things I learned today

OK, maybe this is well-known to most people, but I had no idea.

Did you know that Mariska Hargitay, of Law and Order SVU fame:

Mariska Hargitay

Mariska Hargitay

Was in the back seat of this car:

Mansfield Crash

Mansfield Crash

When it crashed into the back of a tractor trailer, tragically killing Mariska’s mother, Jayne Mansfield, Sam Brody and Ronnie Harrison:

Jayne Mansfield

Jayne Mansfield

I of course knew about the circumstances of Jayne Mansfield’s death, but I had no idea whatsoever that Mariska Hargitay was her daughter, and that she was actually injured in the accident.

I’m a big fan of SVU, and I’ve always liked Ms. Hargitay’s character, and I’ve just been doing some reading about her, and found out that she is the founder of the Joyful Heart Foundation, whose mission is to heal, educate and empower survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse and to shed light into the darkness that surrounds these issues.  Bravo!

Jayne Mansfield spoke five languages, and was a classically trained pianist and violinist.  Sad that all our culture remembers is her boobs and her death.